I know this to be true

I vividly remember the first time I saw the movie Runaway Bride.  The movie was forgettable, but the character of Maggie Carpenter, for me at least, was not...  because I related.  I was neither a bride, nor inclined to run (anywhere, to be honest, never mind away).  What struck me was that I didn’t have a clear picture of who I was, what I wanted or even what I liked.  In fact, just like Maggie, chances were good I would order my eggs to match someone else’s preferences.

Thirteen years later, that statement is still true.  I’ve made a lifelong habit of highlighting the parts of myself that work best for whoever I’m around.  I can be enthusiastic about almost anything! While that’s brought me experiences that I would not have had otherwise, and built relationships that I wouldn’t trade for the world, it’s also left me with the horrible fear that, left to my own devices, I wouldn’t have done anything at all.

In fact, the one thing I’m sure of is that there is a resounding choir of crickets when I ask myself what it is that I want, or where I want to go from here. 

So, this is the journey I wish to embrace.  I want to make my choices my own.  I want to identify and follow my own dreams.  I want to forge my own path.  So that at the end of the day, I'll have the right to say that my life was of my own choosing.

But first, I’ll need to figure out how to do that.

And, since I have to start somewhere, I'll start by figuring out what it is I like – experiment when I don’t know – learn to cultivate fearlessness – and have this be my chronicle.

1.  I know this to be true: I like my eggs with bacon and cheese, on a roll.